Wow
I never would have though theres so many nice people here. I was so hesitant to make the post, I thought id get responses like "just quit it your weak" but for everyone who has ever dealt with opiod addiction its the worst and never really goes away. I know so many people who have died trying to quit then relapsing and dying right away... people in jail ect ect. I sometimes get dreams of relapsing.. every dream i somehow land a huge pile of shit and im like running home to do it and wake up right before i do it in the dream and be covered in sweat. heh
Along with suboxone i was prescribed xanax, and that became my new drug... I needed to do atleast 14mg or more to "get high" my tolerance built up so quick. about 4 months ago. I took 3 weeks off work.. and locked myself in my room... it was horrible.. almost felt worse than dope withdrawl.. I puked.. started seeing shit.. felt like shit for about 7-9 days then it was mental after.. it was so weird when I saw my doctor and told her no when she gave me a refill.. she even was like huh why? I told her I quit it..she was mad cause shes like you can have seizure/die by going cold turkey.. I told her thats why i didnt tell you.. I didnt want more excuses and maned up.
Anyway for anyone dealing with addiction good luck guys, never think you over came it.. thats how you start lying to yr self "ill just do it once..ect"
I really like the newer me going to the gym and working out, everyone tells me I look better.. The reason why I asked about if subs/painkillers effect test shots is because although i did gain weight since starting test cyp about 16 days ago.. I remember feeling more "on" when i took oral prohormones a few years back.. not sure if the test is taking time to build up or this is how it is.. its def working but idk i remmeber feeling super tight and strong on prohormones.. the test isnt making my muscles super hard although they are getting bigger
I am starting to look like how I did when i used to be an athlete in school.. still not there...but hopefully over time ill look better then i ever was..