Struggles...

[Seal]

Hi all,

I've just joined these forums, and I'd like to introduce myself. To be blunt, I've been a complete failure my whole life. I've dealt with severe depression and anxiety for approximately ten years now, starting at the age of 13 (I'm 23 now). These illnesses developed due to dealing with a dysfunctional family, and an abusive/alcoholic father. Consequently, I was forced to drop out of high school (took a huge toll on my self esteem and sense of worth), and I haven't gone back since. For roughly three years now, I've been feeling fatigued (completely drained of energy), and languid. I have absolutely no motivation in life. These symptoms have led me to believe that the decade of hardship has caused my hormones to falter. Point being, after six months of weight training with a good diet, I've only seen minimal development. My strength stalled after only a month or so of lifting. As for body composition, I've a lot of fat around my waist, belly and lower back. This fat is EXTREMELY difficult to burn off.

End result? I look disgusting. I suspect that I have low testosterone, and an excessive amount of cortisol due to facing the adversity. I'll finally be getting my blood levels checked in the next few days.

Body statistics:

Height: 6'5" (196cm or 1.96m)
Weight: 225lbs (almost all fat)

I'm hoping to hear from a few of you. Any opinions, suggestions, recommendations or even criticism would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you!

 

[Mb50]

Good to have you here bro. I have felt with a lot of the same issues, depression and anxiety, in fact I still deal with them. You can turn all the negative things in your life into something positive. The gym is my therapy, take out all the rage, stress, and aggression out there. If your having a tough time now gaining muscle take a long hard look at diet first that's where almost all of you gains will come from. Then find a good workout routine and make sure your giving it your all. And that's a good first step in getting blood work to check out your natural levels. With your age and body fat I wouldn't consider any aas until you gain as much as possible naturally and diet is going to be the deciding factor

 

[Saiyan]

Welcome Seal. Glad you found us here. Definitely had some trails from the sounds of it. Get that bloodwork done and post it up to see what's going on. Until then, just hang out and read threads here and research some more.


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[Taurus]

The weight training will build muscle over time, but to shred the fat your main focus should be on diet and cardio.

 

[olderbro]

Welcome Seal and thanks for your honesty.

It's a good idea to get your blood work done however when you get your results please publish them here and don't just plunge into anything without listening to the advice of Dylan and others.

You will get great advice on this forum from really knowledgeable folk who genuinely care about the welfare of others. What you won't get is sugar coated bs - if you are going wrong you'll be told in no uncertain terms.

 

[SdBronco]

Hey bro welcome to iSarms. It would be wise for you to see a doctor and get bloodwork done. If you really do have low T there is a chance that it could be related to your depression and anxiety.

If you go 6 months without increases in strength or muscle mass/body composition with a truly good diet then you may want to take a look at how you train...not just your hormones.

I've seen some really jacked guys before that tested low on a TT test.

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[Guarionex]

At 23 is too early to label yourself as a failure, that takes years. Let's call yours a rocky start. Post your diet and training routine so we can help you tune it up.

Induced cortisol spike due to stress and depression is a real bitch, specially at a young age when one is the most vulnerable. We highly encourage you to get bloodwork through your doctor or you can use Private Med Labs. You can post the test result and you can take things from there.

 

[Guarionex]

Trust us bro, nothing get you more pumped up than smashing iron (except getting laid).Give it time and keep at it. You'll come around.

 

[RickRock]

Glad to have you here with us brother. I understand your frustration and struggles you've dealt with in your life. I had a lot of similar struggles myself dealing with depression as a teen and,pretty much a very antisocial person. My dad was an alcoholic, and my home was filled with fights every night until they divorced. I was a very skinny undersized kid and had confidence and self image issues. The gym honestly was about the best thing I did for myself to turn it all around. I don't regret my past, as it helped mold who I am today....but I'm now a mostly happy person with confidence and you can do that too my friend.

You need to build consistency both in the gym and the kitchen. It takes time, but it will pay off...trust me.

You don't have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great.

Best of luck to you bro. Wepcome to isarms, and if you have any specific questions I'd be more than happy to help.

 

[dieingbreed]

I think we all go through struggles, in some way or form. I think we have to deal with those struggles the best we can and move forward, yes its hard and it hurts but every day that goes by is a new day that you will become stronger. For me I had to relearn and find ways to manage my struggles and try to live, learn and be a better person from them. I had to love myself and who i am before anything even started to get better. I had to say Fuck it, Im doing me and making myself happy. Screw everyone else. If they are downing you, get rid of them at least a break to clear your head. Me personally I had to say Fuck everyone Im doing me, no matter how I made others feel. There is nothing wrong with talking about your problems with one you trust, or a counsler. The gym is def a reliever as well. Drown yourself in positivity, and what makes you happy. I understand everything your going through. As for the fat, like people say diet is what is going to change that, stress, anxieth, and depression can do damage to one in ways you wouldn't even think of, gaining weight, having weird allergic reactions, it can make you feel bad about yourself like your nothing, it can even hinder sex, make you sick, ruin your immune system.Blood work will be the best to see where your at but keep in mind stress and everything can have an impact on that, You know yourself better then anyone, so do what you have to to keep positive vibes in your life, love life, and do you. Make yourself happy before anyone else. Unless you have a child or family but even then you still have to learn to love yourself and the person you are, you deserve to better yourself.

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[Seal]

Hi everyone. I apologize for being absent. I finally mustered up the strength to visit my doctor (anxiety is a real bitch). It took a lot of convincing to have him check my testosterone levels. As he had in the past (same goes for most doctors) he tried to prescribe me with antidepressants. These drugs have done absoulutey nothing for me in the past. After recieveing my blood results, I found that I had the testosterone levels of an 85-year-old. The number I received was 9.2 nmol/L, which translates to 265 ng/dl. My doctor mentioned TRT, but also stated that he's reluctant to go that route due to my young age. He wants to administer my diet before moving onto anything else.

Anybody here know if adjusting one's diet would even make a substantial difference? I'm pretty sure 265 ng/dl is considered completely abnormal for the age of 23.

Again, I'm so sorry for the absence. I appreciated each and every response I received from you folks.

Thanks.

 

[Yomo2077]

Hey brother i was going thru the same issue's awhile ago but im 36 i did have low t and had high estro got help from Dr. And joined mma training plus fixed my diet and hit the gym and i feel and look much better , though I still havr have alot more to go

 

[Guarionex]

Diet and gym will improve your condititon, I doubt it will fix it though. Here is what I’d suggest. Get some clomid, nolva, and proviron. Twice a week, say every Sunday and Wednesday take 50mg of clomid, 20mg of nolva, and 25mg of proviron. That will get some test production going into your system and improve your mood and motivation.

 

[Buddhabuilder]

Looking over the posts in this thread makes me proud to be a contributing member on this site. The compassion and care expressed is nothing short of beautiful. No coincidences Seal; you have made causes to connect with the Bros here and if you stay focused and consider the advice you can definitely not only transform your situation you will be able to manifest strength you could not have without this struggle. It's all about the lifestyle; training, diet, spiritual life...you knew that was coming, I am the Buddha...Become the master of your mind rather then it be the master of you.

Let's do this - how many days a week do you want to train? What is your current diet like?

This is just the beginning.....

 

[FL1025]

Diet can make a huge difference in your testosterone levels, I think your doctor is on the right track and is looking at your lifelong health. Also did the bloodwork have your vitamin D levels tested?