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99 problems and a bitch is one (advice and opinions are welcomed)

AsapSlim - take it from the good bros here. Don not put up with that bullshit. I'm not saying divorce her but you need to seriously distance yourself and yeah that may mean taking every penny you own and transfering it to secure accounts that are not touchable. Start looking for a place to stay, get away, get out of that place and do your thing. Once she sees you are serious about distance and possibly splitting then she will come begging. If you play her game the mind games just go deeper. Sorry to hear all of this and you seem like a nice guy with a lot of good will so please... Take it from another nice guy - if you keep up the nice guy act this is not going to go well for you. You gotta be stone cold stoic, step away, ignore her calls, let her blow you up and then when you feel cool reach out. If she is fine with your distance and stoic demeanor then she probably has much deeper issues that is her problem and nothing that you are responsible for. Point being - get hard, fuck being nice, limit communication, do not play her game make her play yours and finally stay in control.
 
yes if she does come back you can find a new place to stay cuz then she may try to call the cops and get yo ass hemmed up on a dom violence charge just stay away unless you have a witness for sure
 
ironlifter36 said:
Been following this thread since day one. I have refrained from commenting because you have been receiving good advise and guidance so didn't have anything to add. You did not sound like a pussy, you did right by opening up and asking for opinions. Wise men seek counsel. Often others can see things from an unbiased perspective that we can not see for ourselves. This applies to all areas of life I have found. Unfortunately, what doesn't come out in the wash eventually comes out in the rinse. All dark secrets eventually come to the light, some just faster than others. Be thankful you found out sooner rather than later. Glad to hear you plan to take swift action to move out of the problem and into an immediate solution. I am sure this is not an easy time at the moment, but you will look back and be glad you got out of this relationship. Here for support bro.
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Seconded. Almost from the first line I knew she was lying and that it was over, but I just followed along. Everyone has been on point with advice.

It's amazing how much we'll try to convince ourselves 'no it couldn't be true' in these situations. We get so bizarrely blinded by emotion and dedication that we don't even see reason. But most of us have seen plenty of these women over our lifetimes. Most of them have NO shame, and are some of the most sociopathic evil sluts you can ever imagine. A bloke I know just got taken down by one of my exes funnily enough. I even warned him.

But nope. She kept railing THREE (yes 3) different guys while she was married to him - the dumbass married her after catching her out the first time. Of course, she lied and he ate it up.

So yeah, 10 months later I'm not sure how he ousted her this time, but she's now with some other poor sucker (not even 2 weeks after the bust up) and old mate has had his heart ripped out and stuck with a mortgage and handing over half the stuff.

Of all these guys I've known though, every one of them now has such a better life, that it's unbelievable. Literally, I never would've thought it was even a thing, that it was possible, but the only way they go is up. Most of them even realize just how unhappy they were and held back they were in life by these women. And at least with kids too, you've got something to show for it. All the years.

New beginnings.
 
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stretch512 said:
AsapSlim - take it from the good bros here. Don not put up with that bullshit. I'm not saying divorce her but you need to seriously distance yourself and yeah that may mean taking every penny you own and transfering it to secure accounts that are not touchable. Start looking for a place to stay, get away, get out of that place and do your thing. Once she sees you are serious about distance and possibly splitting then she will come begging. If you play her game the mind games just go deeper. Sorry to hear all of this and you seem like a nice guy with a lot of good will so please... Take it from another nice guy - if you keep up the nice guy act this is not going to go well for you. You gotta be stone cold stoic, step away, ignore her calls, let her blow you up and then when you feel cool reach out. If she is fine with your distance and stoic demeanor then she probably has much deeper issues that is her problem and nothing that you are responsible for. Point being - get hard, fuck being nice, limit communication, do not play her game make her play yours and finally stay in control.
Click to expand...

You are correct, i actually started that yesterday and she called and texted me more than ever. I will keep this up, if she follows cool if she's ok with the distance then i know where her heart is and damn sure not with me.
 
AsapSlim said:
***Update***

I called her phone last night because she wasnt responding to texts and ill be damned the fucking guy answered the phone. I asked him man to man have you slept with my wife since she has been married and he said yes and from the way it seemed it was not recently but another time she had went up there last year. I cant believe she cheated on me and came back like it was all good...wow.. That was all i needed to know, filing for divorce today and moving on with my life. I know this thread might have made me sound like a pussy for being so open about my relationship but i needed to vent to complete strangers and get unbias opinions. I appreciate all the moral support and advice guys, forever my brothers!
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Vey sorry to hear brother but now you know - or rather this confirmed what you and all of here were suspecting based on what you described. Go see a divorce attorney who can provide some good advice on the best way to go about this, what the financial implications will be and how to protect your assets. Depending on the State you live in, you may be able to do this through a mediator where both parties agree on things and it keeps things out of court. However, cheating women have a million excuses to justify their actions and may feel entitled to more than her share. That's why you need a good lawyer now.

This will be a hard road for a while bro but I'm sure you have faced many greater challenges. Just realize it is not worth being with an unfaithful women one minute. Not good for you and not good for your kids. Be strong and focus on the finish - which is your piece of mind and a new, better life. FWIW: my best friend went through a similar episode. He moved out of his own house, splitting assets (which he had earned because his wife didn't do shit), and it was awkward with his kids. A month later he was banging a women 15 years younger and now (3 months later) is in a relationship with another women who he said he connects with at every level. He even has a better relationship with his kids because he's truly happy now.

All the best to you brother. You will come out the other side 100x better off than you are now. Just realize that.
 
AsapSlim said:
You are correct, i actually started that yesterday and she called and texted me more than ever. I will keep this up, if she follows cool if she's ok with the distance then i know where her heart is and damn sure not with me.
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This is a typical reaction bro, not about you so much, but the abrupt realization that this dude is married and has kids himself and the option of living back at home is not a great one. People want comfort and to her selfish ass, comfort was sitting at home in your house fucking other people while you took care of her. Don't mistake necessity out to be caring, or regret. She regrets she got busted, nothing more. Cheetahs don't change their spots bro. Stand firm like you got a pair.
 
Damn, where in the hell do u guys find the scandalous bitches? Lol all these stories just keep popping up. I must live in a bubble.
 
I'm a firm believer that the only truly good woman is one that has 1. been treated like shit so much that they finally appreciate a good man, or 2. one that had a great mother, decent friends and family.... the enigma, because this one must've been raised in an outpost of Neptune.

A good general rule is this to me:
1. Treat them how you meet them, clubbin? Club hoe.
2. Church? Closet hoe most likely.
3. Cheating on her man, or has a friend and still see's you. Disloyal hoe.
4. Have common interests, life goals and ambitions for themselves (not just you). Keeper.
 
44YOGearHead said:
I'm a firm believer that the only truly good woman is one that has 1. been treated like shit so much that they finally appreciate a good man, or 2. one that had a great mother, decent friends and family.... the enigma, because this one must've been raised in an outpost of Neptune.

A good general rule is this to me:
1. Treat them how you meet them, clubbin? Club hoe.
2. Church? Closet hoe most likely.
3. Cheating on her man, or has a friend and still see's you. Disloyal hoe.
4. Have common interests, life goals and ambitions for themselves (not just you). Keeper.
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LOL @ #2

I met my wife almost 20 years ago in a dive bar.It's not all black & white.There are exceptions.

OP this totally sucks man,but at least you know now.There's nothing worse than thinking she's cheating & not knowing.I wish you the best.
 
Flanex said:
LOL @ #2

I met my wife almost 20 years ago in a dive bar.It's not all black & white.There are exceptions.

OP this totally sucks man,but at least you know now.There's nothing worse than thinking she's cheating & not knowing.I wish you the best.
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Of course ther are always exceptions my man, I first saw mine in school 20 years ago, but met in a club when I was leaving and she was barely getting there lol. #2 is fact though... church girl ass is like a F-1 race, fast as hell, bumpy, with a lot of curves amen!
 
44YOGearHead said:
Of course ther are always exceptions my man, I first saw mine in school 20 years ago, but met in a club when I was leaving and she was barely getting there lol. #2 is fact though... church girl ass is like a F-1 race, fast as hell, bumpy, with a lot of curves amen!
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Damn I should've went to church more.lol
 
44YOGearHead said:
I'm a firm believer that the only truly good woman is one that has 1. been treated like shit so much that they finally appreciate a good man, or 2. one that had a great mother, decent friends and family.... the enigma, because this one must've been raised in an outpost of Neptune.

A good general rule is this to me:
1. Treat them how you meet them, clubbin? Club hoe.
2. Church? Closet hoe most likely.
3. Cheating on her man, or has a friend and still see's you. Disloyal hoe.
4. Have common interests, life goals and ambitions for themselves (not just you). Keeper.
Click to expand...

Her problems stem from her mother, she has 3 kids by 3 different guys. She also has an 8 yr old who doesnt see his dad. She stays in everybodys business and gossips like a little school girl. Mind you, shes in her 50's WTF! And any drama she has she pulls her daughters into it! Ive told my wife plenty of times, that her own mother doesnt want to see her happily married.
 
I must say that i never expected this thread to be like this, i was expecting a couple guys to say "sorry to hear that man" and that was it. But you guys have really coached and helped me through the roughest part, the initial part and i appreciate the fuck out of it! The support speaks volumes about this forum seriously!
 
AsapSlim said:
I must say that i never expected this thread to be like this, i was expecting a couple guys to say "sorry to hear that man" and that was it. But you guys have really coached and helped me through the roughest part, the initial part and i appreciate the fuck out of it! The support speaks volumes about this forum seriously!
Click to expand...

Bro we're family on here bro, we may never meet, but rest assured we have your best intentions at heart and it all starts from the top. Dylan cares, therefore we follow suit. Some of it might be shock and awe to some, but we build strong relationships here bro. As for her mother... you're spot on bro, but that is not an excuse for the wife. She's grown and knew the consequences of her actions. You dont see me at the zoo reaching in slapping Gorillas right? I like my big ass'd arms and would hate to see one ripped out the socket so guess what??? No bitch slappin Harumbe.
 
44YOGearHead said:
Bro we're family on here bro, we may never meet, but rest assured we have your best intentions at heart and it all starts from the top. Dylan cares, therefore we follow suit. Some of it might be shock and awe to some, but we build strong relationships here bro. As for her mother... you're spot on bro, but that is not an excuse for the wife. She's grown and knew the consequences of her actions. You dont see me at the zoo reaching in slapping Gorillas right? I like my big ass'd arms and would hate to see one ripped out the socket so guess what??? No bitch slappin Harumbe.
Click to expand...

Lol @ harumbe reference
 
44YOGearHead said:
Bro we're family on here bro, we may never meet, but rest assured we have your best intentions at heart and it all starts from the top. Dylan cares, therefore we follow suit. Some of it might be shock and awe to some, but we build strong relationships here bro. As for her mother... you're spot on bro, but that is not an excuse for the wife. She's grown and knew the consequences of her actions. You dont see me at the zoo reaching in slapping Gorillas right? I like my big ass'd arms and would hate to see one ripped out the socket so guess what??? No bitch slappin Harumbe.
Click to expand...

you could always slap lesllie jones she looks like harambe
 
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