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What I truly hope is a breakthrough for me...

DylanGemelli

Founding Member
Super Moderator
So everyone, this is something I need to get off my chest and share. If we are going to be a real family then it is important for me and all of us to be comfortable in sharing things with one another whether good or bad. I have my own personal demons that I truly struggle with daily and this is something I have been struggling with for an extremely long time and it all is starting to come to a breaking point for me...

My misery within is daily... I struggle with food and with my obsession for work and eating so strict... I never cheat year round and find myself constantly irritable and basically resentful of everyone else who lives a normal life... I never go out anymore, never enjoy myself fully when I do because I am always so hungry or concerned about the smallest little thing i take in effecting me... My poor fiance really never gets to go to bed with at night as i am glued to my work or always at the gym and I am just always preoccupied... I have given us a fairly nice life yet I realized that all the nice things I have gotten us, i literally NEVER use, never enjoy and i am ALWAYS looking at my watch or my phone. It's not right, and I am watching the best years of my life go right by me... One quality I have is also a major flaw and that's my dedication to things... I take it way too far... Im just not enjoying my life whatsoever and its not fair to anyone... I have been overcome with all this.. of course this does not mean i want pizza and cake everyday but it would be nice to have something different once in a while or have a damn beer or drink now and then or just spend extra time with my family... I literally NEVER do it... NEVER... Of course i will ALWAYS be here and this place is my baby and my priority but I can't be good to anyone else if I can't even be good to myself... If you are not happy with yourself, how can you ever be happy with anyone else? I am trying to start a new life, get married, have a child, raise a family and I can't kill myself in the process... Yesterday I was so sick half the day i felt like I was not even going to make it through and everything hit me about all this... How miserable I am and I am literally killing myself in the process.. I will always be here, always be as fit as possible and always have this as a priority but I can't do this to myself any longer... I just need to enjoy things once in a while... I have to... Its so hard because I am so set in my ways, so precise and regimented but I have to do something for myself and my family or I am scared I will eventually lose everything because I won't even make it through... They depend on me and they need me, just like everyone here does but I have to be there for everyone... I always will be but damn, I want to go out to eat once in a while, or just relax, sit by my fucking swimming pool, which i literally never enjoy and just relax... have a corona (as homo as that sounds) or just something, anything... I simply can't watch my life pass me by anymore...

Does anyone think Im just fucking crazy or I am right in my thinking here?
 
I think when someone like you is so dedicated to something, you tend to forget that the point of life is to LIVE it. While what you do is extremly admirable, whats the point if you arnt enjoying life. Like you said, you are about to be married. And possibly a child or two. How do you think you will feel when they are 18 and ypu realize you dont even know them? Not saying you would do this but it is a reality of life. You have to take the time to enjoy life. Whats the point of being 5% bf and have a sick house and a pool and obviously a great woman and money to do the great things in life if you are constantly staring at a monitor or worrying about calories. Im gonna say this but i say it in a positive and true way. YOU ARNT LIVING DYLAN,YOU ARE JUST SLOWLY DYING IN A DIFFERENT WAY.

That being said. What you do is great. But if life passes you by and you have nothing fond to look back on and go, damn honey remember that trip we took. All the food we ate and drinks we had and the fun we had. Then whats the fucking point.

Everything in moderation. Believe it or not there is such a thing as being too healthy. Im not saying go onna drinking bing and stuff your face. But fuck man a beer or two or a burger or two isnt going to make a damn bit of difference.

I hope some of this helped.


PHURIOUS PHARMA
 
Your spot on brother , it's almost impossible to maintain that lifestyle 100 percent of the time . Once you maintain a routine , it's hard to break after a while . Enjoy that corona and slice of pizza ! If anybody deserves it , it's you my man! I know you have also been under a ton of stress and pressure here lately especially with your father passing . I think what your going through is completely natural and it's healthy for you to talk about it as well . Most of the time it's the small things that we enjoy , not the big house and fancy cars that we consume ourselves around . If your not happy , none of those things matter anyway. You help us out like no other , do your self a favor and take care of you buddy . We are all here for you brother ! Stay positive and enjoy your life and the people around you .
 
Re: RE: What I truly hope is a breakthrough for me...

DylanGemelli said:
So everyone, this is something I need to get off my chest and share. If we are going to be a real family then it is important for me and all of us to be comfortable in sharing things with one another whether good or bad. I have my own personal demons that I truly struggle with daily and this is something I have been struggling with for an extremely long time and it all is starting to come to a breaking point for me...

My misery within is daily... I struggle with food and with my obsession for work and eating so strict... I never cheat year round and find myself constantly irritable and basically resentful of everyone else who lives a normal life... I never go out anymore, never enjoy myself fully when I do because I am always so hungry or concerned about the smallest little thing i take in effecting me... My poor fiance really never gets to go to bed with at night as i am glued to my work or always at the gym and I am just always preoccupied... I have given us a fairly nice life yet I realized that all the nice things I have gotten us, i literally NEVER use, never enjoy and i am ALWAYS looking at my watch or my phone. It's not right, and I am watching the best years of my life go right by me... One quality I have is also a major flaw and that's my dedication to things... I take it way too far... Im just not enjoying my life whatsoever and its not fair to anyone... I have been overcome with all this.. of course this does not mean i want pizza and cake everyday but it would be nice to have something different once in a while or have a damn beer or drink now and then or just spend extra time with my family... I literally NEVER do it... NEVER... Of course i will ALWAYS be here and this place is my baby and my priority but I can't be good to anyone else if I can't even be good to myself... If you are not happy with yourself, how can you ever be happy with anyone else? I am trying to start a new life, get married, have a child, raise a family and I can't kill myself in the process... Yesterday I was so sick half the day i felt like I was not even going to make it through and everything hit me about all this... How miserable I am and I am literally killing myself in the process.. I will always be here, always be as fit as possible and always have this as a priority but I can't do this to myself any longer... I just need to enjoy things once in a while... I have to... Its so hard because I am so set in my ways, so precise and regimented but I have to do something for myself and my family or I am scared I will eventually lose everything because I won't even make it through... They depend on me and they need me, just like everyone here does but I have to be there for everyone... I always will be but damn, I want to go out to eat once in a while, or just relax, sit by my fucking swimming pool, which i literally never enjoy and just relax... have a corona (as homo as that sounds) or just something, anything... I simply can't watch my life pass me by anymore...

Does anyone think Im just fucking crazy or I am right in my thinking here?
There is absolutely nothing abnormal with what you just said. I'm nowhere close to your shape and I haven't built my entire life around being fit but I struggle with the exact same things. When I decide to do something I do it 200%. I have an extremely hard time finding a balance between everything. I am getting much much better at it though the older I get. I don't ever go out and do anything either. I am focused on my goals but one thing I have finally realized is, I'm not Jay Cutler, I'm not a top 1% bodybuilder nor will I ever be. With that said, I have realized that you have to enjoy yourself, especially with your woman and kids. A slice of pizza and a beer every now and again will not deter you in any fashion. You need to ask yourself, why are you doing this? Why are you so committed to being so strict? If you're answer is because of all that follow you than imo that's an incorrect answer. You should only be as strict as you are off it is your absolute goal to be at the top. If your goal is to look your absolute best while still enjoying the finer things in life, then moderation is something you need to learn and practice. It's a very hard mountain to climb but once you figure it out, it's a relief like no other. At the end of the day, what's the point of being in shape when you're just miserable anyway? Take some time off relax, have a beer, go for a swim and come back and hit the diet and gym hard. You'll feel like a new man.
 
PHURIOUS said:
I think when someone like you is so dedicated to something, you tend to forget that the point of life is to LIVE it. While what you do is extremly admirable, whats the point if you arnt enjoying life. Like you said, you are about to be married. And possibly a child or two. How do you think you will feel when they are 18 and ypu realize you dont even know them? Not saying you would do this but it is a reality of life. You have to take the time to enjoy life. Whats the point of being 5% bf and have a sick house and a pool and obviously a great woman and money to do the great things in life if you are constantly staring at a monitor or worrying about calories. Im gonna say this but i say it in a positive and true way. YOU ARNT LIVING DYLAN,YOU ARE JUST SLOWLY DYING IN A DIFFERENT WAY.

That being said. What you do is great. But if life passes you by and you have nothing fond to look back on and go, damn honey remember that trip we took. All the food we ate and drinks we had and the fun we had. Then whats the fucking point.

Everything in moderation. Believe it or not there is such a thing as being too healthy. Im not saying go onna drinking bing and stuff your face. But fuck man a beer or two or a burger or two isnt going to make a damn bit of difference.

I hope some of this helped.


PHURIOUS PHARMA


You and I have talked quite a bit and we tend to joke, talk bs about things etc... but one thing you and I have had for a while is a common friendship with one another but this right here made me think different of you in a very significant way... I NEED TO HEAR THIS from friends, from people that care and people that have lived it and have the knowledge and provide a "make sense" statement or directive... What you just said is what I need and to hear it and see you take the time to write it when I know your busy means such a great deal to me and everything you said is right on the money.. I mean fuck, like I said, I'll always do things a certain way but even when we travel to sports games, if I want some fucking nachos or a hot dog ONCE IN A BLUE MOON, why can't I have one? I mean why? Would it REALLY hurt me or would it hurt my mind? Probably the latter especially considering how hypocritical I am being... I MAKE my clients, even when they are hardcore cutting, cheat on meals and I don't follow my own advice... What kind of leader or teacher am I if I don't follow my own advice? It doesn't make sense... I can do it and I will... It will be a process but if I don't I won't ever be truly happy... THANK YOU
 
Yessir. I know you can do it. Just put your mind to it like you do everything else.

Have you exspressed this to your fiance? Maybe she can help you also. Push u a little to cheat on the diet. I think once you start doing it then it wont be so foreign.

You can do it.


PHURIOUS PHARMA
 
You guys are all exactly right all the way... None of those nice things will change anything except my happiness... In all honesty, Im not as productive as I could be either because I am never at my best because I am hungry, crabby and just not happy internally like I should be... I have an emptyness there because I never do what Dylan wants to do... I just don't... I'll always be here, I'll always put you guys and this place at the very top and that won't ever change whatsoever... I have built this from the ground up and we have just begun but I do need to do some things for myself at some point of the day... I think about how even billionaires spend time with their families, enjoy life etc... They even break away and yet I don't, i never do... Its a shame and I don't want to live in regret anymore... I feel guilt and anguish, honestly I do and its not fair to me, my family and not any of you either... Like I said, I am not going anywhere nor implying that, basically more or less just coming to you guys, even if I look vulnerable and just being honest hoping you guys can help me get through all this and make a change that I need... I appreciate it
 
PHURIOUS said:
Yessir. I know you can do it. Just put your mind to it like you do everything else.

Have you exspressed this to your fiance? Maybe she can help you also. Push u a little to cheat on the diet. I think once you start doing it then it wont be so foreign.

You can do it.


PHURIOUS PHARMA


We talked about it at great length yesterday bro, probably a good three hours and she is behind me a million percent... Im a very very lucky man to say the least... That's the understatement of the year... I know I drive her crazy everyday and its not fair... It's just not... I don't want to do that to her or myself...
 
You are not crazy. You have some obsessions or ocd. But that dont make u a bad person. You need rely a little bit more on your staff here to cover things at times. So u and your girl can go enjoy yourselves.

You need to have a couple slices of damn pizza. You are fucking Italian arent you? Look. Im 51 yrs old. And let me tell you. The fucking yrs fly by faster and faster. Dont wait till its to late. You owe your girl and your family some good damn fun Bro.

So start today by making small changes. Dont try to do it all at once. You can do it brother.
 
JM750 said:
You are not crazy. You have some obsessions or ocd. But that dont make u a bad person. You need rely a little bit more on your staff here to cover things at times. So u and your girl can go enjoy yourselves.

You need to have a couple slices of damn pizza. You are fucking Italian arent you? Look. Im 51 yrs old. And let me tell you. The fucking yrs fly by faster and faster. Dont wait till its to late. You owe your girl and your family some good damn fun Bro.

So start today by making small changes. Dont try to do it all at once. You can do it brother.


Thanks brother, I appreciate that and yes, I am Italian and I don't want to forget that because it is something I take a great deal of proud in and Im not acting like it... Not at all... Im acting like a fucking nazi and its not cool at all... I know I can do it, I guess I just needed a little reassurance which I am getting from all of you and it means the world to me... Thank you bro...
 
Baby steps. Small changes. And u will b fine.


PHURIOUS PHARMA
 
Dylan,

Thanks for sharing some of your personal issues with us man. There are a small percentage of people on this earth that have a very hard time relaxing and enjoying life due to having a relentless desire to be great. People like that set goal after goal because they are somewhat addicted to the feeling of accomplishment. (I call that OCD and I am a in the same boat as you)

It is both a blessing and a curse to have that nagging voice in your head pushing you and pushing you to do more. If you are like me, its not just a voice, but a horrible feeling of anxiety that only dissipates when the task is done. This can be as simple as finding my keys or writing an email or even worse, building a new business. (holy shit is that a painful experience due to it taking so long)

You MUST find balance, however I will warn you that it is NOT easy. You are going to have to accept some of this personality trait because this IS who you are. I suggest you set time aside and stick to it as much as possible, unless of course you have something urgent that comes up and it needs to be handled. (this will happen, especially with people who own their own business, but THAT is just part of running a business and you have to also accept that) I also suggest taking weekends off for yourself and your family. Turn the computer off at a certain time during the week and also stick to that rule as much as you can.

NOTHING is more important than family and it sounds like you have a great life shaping up and an unbelievable future ahead of you. NOTHING is more important that your health and your loved ones, as you know first hand. I have made millions upon millions.... owned just about every exotic car known to man... owned yachts, flashed around cash at bars and clubs (LONG ago! Haven't seen the inside of one in years lol), beautiful homes, on and on and on. NONE of that means shit bro. None of that really makes you happy because once you have all of that shit for longer than a few months... you just want more and you find yourself BOARD of chasing money and appreciating your TRUE friends and family that give you what monetary things never can.

Your drive is NOT going away and I feel your pain. You are a YOUNG adult man... you have a lot to learn, but the things you are saying right now are the beginnings of you truly finding yourself and becoming the man you are meant to become.

Your feelings of pain are by design. Those feelings are talking to you from within, telling you that its time to evolve to the next stage of your development (call it growing pains, but i KNOW its worse than that bro). It is your awakening and it is up to you to make those changes or ignore the pain. I think you are on the right track by acknowledging these feelings.

IMPORTANT: Do NOT try to change too much too quickly. You will set yourself up for failure. Decide to change 1 big thing in your life and use your natural desire to succeed to overcome that change. (Maybe decide that weekends are for yourself and family only). Once you have acclimated to that change, make another... maybe M,W,F turn the computer off at a certain time and watch some mind numbing bullshit on TV (this is my own personal activity that allows my mind to cool down and go numb)

You can not be an asset to yourself if you dont take care of yourself. You NEED to have a beer. You need to have friends over for a BBQ. You definitely need to take time to fully develop your relationship with the woman you are wanting to spend the rest of your life with man.

I could go on and on, but keep this in mind: You cant change your stripes so dont be a fool. You CAN however adjust your habits so that you can live your life in a manor that wont kill you, destroy relationships or wont make life so meaningless and empty. HARNESS your gift that I consider a blessing. But, CONTROL the curse by announcing to yourself that YOU ARE IN CHARGE.

I do feel your pain, but I am excited to see that you are in a transitional stage to your next transformation.

You know what to do next... so go do it. You are in control

Bc
 
Bro, I'm glad you made this post, I'm glad your being real with YOURSELF. You are an incredibly smart guy, and you already know what you need to do. But you must allow yourself to do it.

I'm not the best with words, so it will be kept short.

You already know the problem..
You already know how to fix it..
Dedication is obviously not hard for you..

WTF is holding you back? 5%? Taking your future wife out for a nice evening every once in awhile and having fun is not going to change the level of commitment you have to this life style. The only thing it is going to do is make you a better man, in the eyes of the woman who will be carrying your children. Give her, and YOU what you both deserve.
 
Re: RE: What I truly hope is a breakthrough for me...

DylanGemelli said:
So everyone, this is something I need to get off my chest and share. If we are going to be a real family then it is important for me and all of us to be comfortable in sharing things with one another whether good or bad. I have my own personal demons that I truly struggle with daily and this is something I have been struggling with for an extremely long time and it all is starting to come to a breaking point for me...

My misery within is daily... I struggle with food and with my obsession for work and eating so strict... I never cheat year round and find myself constantly irritable and basically resentful of everyone else who lives a normal life... I never go out anymore, never enjoy myself fully when I do because I am always so hungry or concerned about the smallest little thing i take in effecting me... My poor fiance really never gets to go to bed with at night as i am glued to my work or always at the gym and I am just always preoccupied... I have given us a fairly nice life yet I realized that all the nice things I have gotten us, i literally NEVER use, never enjoy and i am ALWAYS looking at my watch or my phone. It's not right, and I am watching the best years of my life go right by me... One quality I have is also a major flaw and that's my dedication to things... I take it way too far... Im just not enjoying my life whatsoever and its not fair to anyone... I have been overcome with all this.. of course this does not mean i want pizza and cake everyday but it would be nice to have something different once in a while or have a damn beer or drink now and then or just spend extra time with my family... I literally NEVER do it... NEVER... Of course i will ALWAYS be here and this place is my baby and my priority but I can't be good to anyone else if I can't even be good to myself... If you are not happy with yourself, how can you ever be happy with anyone else? I am trying to start a new life, get married, have a child, raise a family and I can't kill myself in the process... Yesterday I was so sick half the day i felt like I was not even going to make it through and everything hit me about all this... How miserable I am and I am literally killing myself in the process.. I will always be here, always be as fit as possible and always have this as a priority but I can't do this to myself any longer... I just need to enjoy things once in a while... I have to... Its so hard because I am so set in my ways, so precise and regimented but I have to do something for myself and my family or I am scared I will eventually lose everything because I won't even make it through... They depend on me and they need me, just like everyone here does but I have to be there for everyone... I always will be but damn, I want to go out to eat once in a while, or just relax, sit by my fucking swimming pool, which i literally never enjoy and just relax... have a corona (as homo as that sounds) or just something, anything... I simply can't watch my life pass me by anymore...

Does anyone think Im just fucking crazy or I am right in my thinking here?
Dylan, this is very commendable of you to come forward and tell us about these struggles you've dealt with. You are probably the most regimented individual I know when it comes to staying committed and focused to everything you do. You've always strived for excellence, and nothing less. That's a very good thing my brother, but as you've found, it can have consequences. Sometimes you don't even notice those consequences because it affects people close to you in your life, and you become blind to it. I have been there and struggled with it myself. The main reason I have not competed again is the toll it takes on my family. Its good to have some leniency and moderation in your life. It is beyond beneficial. It makes you feel so much better, and brings you closer to those you love and care for. After all, this our lifestyle, but this is not our life. My life is my wife and my kids, and spending time with them. It took me a long time to come up with a good plan to find that balance between doing what I love and all it entails, and enjoying the time with those I love the way I should. Now I have a schedule that works well and it gives me the time with my family, and to enjoy meals with them that isn't bodybuilding food. I do pizza or something along those lines every Friday with my family, and also have two other cheat meals through the week. I never turn down birthday cake at my kids birthday parties (which is this Saturday by the way). I take my wife out for dinner and drinks about once a month to enjoy the night out without worry. I set aside at least an hour each night to play with my children, and talk with my wife. I found out that my lifestyle really didn't suffer. I am still making progress. Sure I could make even more if I wanted to, but I'm not going to let my lifestyle get in the way of life. I guess what I'm saying is that you don't have to be a zealot to succeed in this lifestyle. We are not pros, so we don't have to act like pros.

Dylan, this a huge step for you but I am absolutely excited that you posted this. It may be hard to let yourself enjoy life and change from what you are used to, but I know you can do it if anyone can. I'd love to see you enjoy your life more, and I know you will if you allow yourself to. As always, I'm here for you to talk to for anything you need brother. Anytime
 
I admire your transparency, Dylan. Great leaders are transparent about their life and it builds trust with the team/family. I am not much of a reader, but I read a book called, "The Three Questions of a Frantic Family", and it has some gold in it and it's an easy read. Basically, our families are an organization and we, as men, are the CEO's of that org. Is our org healthy? That addresses all aspects of our lives, just like the things that you are talking about - time management, wants, priorities, future, etc.

My challenge to you: Go find a Five Guys and eat a delicious hamburger ;) Really though, you will do whatever you set your mind to accomplish and that is admirable.
 
Dylan, with all do respect brother, you need to enjoy life while you can, there's only two things certain in this life death and taxes, we all must dig deep in side of us and analyse what kind of person we are, or becoming, so if we don't like what we see, changes need to be made, I know you have good intentions at heart, but don't let that take from your happiness, adjustment are always good for the soul... hugs and respect brother...

Changing my life around one day at a time!
 
Bcsteroid said:
Dylan,

Thanks for sharing some of your personal issues with us man. There are a small percentage of people on this earth that have a very hard time relaxing and enjoying life due to having a relentless desire to be great. People like that set goal after goal because they are somewhat addicted to the feeling of accomplishment. (I call that OCD and I am a in the same boat as you)

It is both a blessing and a curse to have that nagging voice in your head pushing you and pushing you to do more. If you are like me, its not just a voice, but a horrible feeling of anxiety that only dissipates when the task is done. This can be as simple as finding my keys or writing an email or even worse, building a new business. (holy shit is that a painful experience due to it taking so long)

You MUST find balance, however I will warn you that it is NOT easy. You are going to have to accept some of this personality trait because this IS who you are. I suggest you set time aside and stick to it as much as possible, unless of course you have something urgent that comes up and it needs to be handled. (this will happen, especially with people who own their own business, but THAT is just part of running a business and you have to also accept that) I also suggest taking weekends off for yourself and your family. Turn the computer off at a certain time during the week and also stick to that rule as much as you can.

NOTHING is more important than family and it sounds like you have a great life shaping up and an unbelievable future ahead of you. NOTHING is more important that your health and your loved ones, as you know first hand. I have made millions upon millions.... owned just about every exotic car known to man... owned yachts, flashed around cash at bars and clubs (LONG ago! Haven't seen the inside of one in years lol), beautiful homes, on and on and on. NONE of that means shit bro. None of that really makes you happy because once you have all of that shit for longer than a few months... you just want more and you find yourself BOARD of chasing money and appreciating your TRUE friends and family that give you what monetary things never can.

Your drive is NOT going away and I feel your pain. You are a YOUNG adult man... you have a lot to learn, but the things you are saying right now are the beginnings of you truly finding yourself and becoming the man you are meant to become.

Your feelings of pain are by design. Those feelings are talking to you from within, telling you that its time to evolve to the next stage of your development (call it growing pains, but i KNOW its worse than that bro). It is your awakening and it is up to you to make those changes or ignore the pain. I think you are on the right track by acknowledging these feelings.

IMPORTANT: Do NOT try to change too much too quickly. You will set yourself up for failure. Decide to change 1 big thing in your life and use your natural desire to succeed to overcome that change. (Maybe decide that weekends are for yourself and family only). Once you have acclimated to that change, make another... maybe M,W,F turn the computer off at a certain time and watch some mind numbing bullshit on TV (this is my own personal activity that allows my mind to cool down and go numb)

You can not be an asset to yourself if you dont take care of yourself. You NEED to have a beer. You need to have friends over for a BBQ. You definitely need to take time to fully develop your relationship with the woman you are wanting to spend the rest of your life with man.

I could go on and on, but keep this in mind: You cant change your stripes so dont be a fool. You CAN however adjust your habits so that you can live your life in a manor that wont kill you, destroy relationships or wont make life so meaningless and empty. HARNESS your gift that I consider a blessing. But, CONTROL the curse by announcing to yourself that YOU ARE IN CHARGE.

I do feel your pain, but I am excited to see that you are in a transitional stage to your next transformation.

You know what to do next... so go do it. You are in control

Bc

THANK YOU my friend, THANK YOU... I discussed this with my fiance last night and said it was baby steps... I preach to everyone about this lifestyle being a marathon and not a sprint so I have to follow my own advice... CLEARLY I am who I am and that won't change ever... I can't help it... You and I already discussed this a bit on who we are and I don't want to be anyone but Dylan, flaws and all because it is who I am but I also know when to take a step back and reassess... I know I scare my mom and she tells me that "even machines need rest or they won't make it" and she is right... I literally never rest and I never fully allow myself to give what I need to give to others... I can't be good to anyone If I can't be good to myself... I want EVERYONE to get my best from me and I want to give it... I know I can and I will because every time I want something I get it and NOONE gives it to me, I do it myself through prayer, grit and determination... I hope I don't sound like a bitch here in any way or vulnerable but i am a human too and sometimes I forget that... I have people who need me and depend on me and I want them to know I love and care for them by more than words but by actions... Actions always speak far louder and I want to do that for EVERYONE and I will... THANK YOU for taking the time to write to me on this..
 
Your first post (admitting) is the beginning of your change. As already stated. Baby steps.
You got this man.
 
I'm not as disciplined as you but a couple years ago I had tunnel vision and a goal to really change drastically and start competing. It didn't last long as I had two kids since and it can really take my attention away from my family. I have a drink now and then just to take the edge off and I eat what I want now. If you're not happy then what's it all for? Working is also not what life should be about. Don't make your passion into a stressor.


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