Because if shenanigans rates decrease - the terrorists win.
Juss' sayin' yo.
Juss' sayin' yo.
Request: Retarded stories by 44
- Thread starter Blue_Shine
- Start date
LOLLL im sure there is plenty to provide!
Thailand 1992... Got shore leave and did the usual, get drunk, kickbox with the locals and Seals; bang punanny. So we went to some bar and were drinking of all things absinthe, the maker of regrets. Doug was totally wasted and we lost track of him just long enough for him to wander off with a billy boy (transgender hooker). Granted these folks aren't the manliest of people anyways and some of the hookers are fugly enough that honest mistakes have on occasion led to men on men bro violations of a weird sexual nature that guys never want told.
So we were looking for Doug and he wasn't in the club. He was conveniently located in the alley right outside getting a lesson on deep breathing techniques from of all things... a billy boy. We were a tad late to save him, but early enough to laugh our asses off as he said goodbye to his unborn children. So as we made fum of him all the way back to the ship he managed to walk right off the dock. That was a long fucking fall drunk or not. We had to jump in after him as one drunk Marine just ain't a fucking party unless you're naked and in public. So the man overboard sounded and they managed to pull us out fairly quickly. They had to take Doug to sick bay because one of us managed to land on him. One neck brace, one huge ass fall and some same sex gratification later Doug became known as "Adams Apple" until we all managed to PCS. I hope that account satisfied your need for depravity. I had one about myself involving a extra flexible really fat chick who took me home when I was extra drunk, but dammit I wasn't complaining the entire time and even made a return trip to see Brenda (it's that good when you remember fat chicks names). That one could never get posted as it's just too explicit.
So we were looking for Doug and he wasn't in the club. He was conveniently located in the alley right outside getting a lesson on deep breathing techniques from of all things... a billy boy. We were a tad late to save him, but early enough to laugh our asses off as he said goodbye to his unborn children. So as we made fum of him all the way back to the ship he managed to walk right off the dock. That was a long fucking fall drunk or not. We had to jump in after him as one drunk Marine just ain't a fucking party unless you're naked and in public. So the man overboard sounded and they managed to pull us out fairly quickly. They had to take Doug to sick bay because one of us managed to land on him. One neck brace, one huge ass fall and some same sex gratification later Doug became known as "Adams Apple" until we all managed to PCS. I hope that account satisfied your need for depravity. I had one about myself involving a extra flexible really fat chick who took me home when I was extra drunk, but dammit I wasn't complaining the entire time and even made a return trip to see Brenda (it's that good when you remember fat chicks names). That one could never get posted as it's just too explicit.
Holy dancing fucksticks! I'm willing to lay down some green for you to author your own autobio budd. Hahaha fucking stellar.
Becase at some point, every proud man has a moment in which he was "conveniently located in the alley right outside" for all purposes of self regret.
STELLAR!
HAHAHAHA!!!!!! Shit, fat girls are some of the biggest freaks...figuratively and literally.
Yeah I like all types even the curvy plus sized ones as long as they're tall. I'm a sucker for tall women with my short ass lol. Last gf was a 5' 11.5" tall mulatto... if I was single I'd have made that one the next Mrs.44, but she was so anti-gear that we'd have never worked. Besides, since I retired and repressed my inner slut tendencies I've come to appreciate what I have and she's my best friend and soulmate. Amazing how you see the world when you grow up.
Loving this insight over here!
Or the story one night I took a bar girl home in Japan that only had one leg and I didnt notice it until getting off the futon, and banged into her leg lying there...
The devil awaits in a bottle
You Sir have all my tales beat. Nub love lol...
If you knew the full story of that night of absinthe, you'd wet yourself laughing, but thats a night I'll never post the full details of. Other than I woke up the next morning, in my cammies, in my office.
I hate that first moment you wake up, open one eye, open the other, and for a brief moment wonder where the fuck am I?
Followed by 2 days of hearing my exploits that evening.
I hate that first moment you wake up, open one eye, open the other, and for a brief moment wonder where the fuck am I?
Followed by 2 days of hearing my exploits that evening.
That'd be worth the brig or confinement on ship with b&w any day. 10 vag destruction fest with mother daughter tag team? Hell yeah. Best I had was aunt/niece in a apartment shared by 5 young ladies... I bagged 4. The 5th would not give in to my phallic prowess. She was the one I wanted most because of it, however even on a bad day 4 outta 5 equals 80% success rate.
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