behavior problems with kids?anyone goin through it or got advice

[-SD-]

his father lives far away. he calls every few weeks. No money help.Dont see him.As close as you could get to being non existant with actually being so.And of couse he adores his father beyond belief . I dont ever bad mouth his father though, i dont think its right or my place

He holds his dad in very high esteem, which undermines your own credibility and efforts to act as an authority figure. Every time you attempt to discipline him or correct him he will think "youre not my dad, i dont have to listen to you". Good thinking not bad mouthing the dad, the kid will learn he was a dead beat in due time and learn to appreciate you more.

 

[rockmfhudd]

Right on the money SD I had 3 stepsons. and 1 of my own so we have went thru the gamut of BS with teenage hormones, their dad and mines mom for that matter undermining anything we tried to instill in them. The best thing is to be his constant go to as a male role model never try to be "his dad" but he has to respect you and if you and your finace' are on the same page with discipline that is the key, and consistency if it aint ok today tomorrow is gonna be worse punishment cuz it aint ok.
Wait til they get the p juice jesus it was like world war 3 over here, and 1 actually went to his daddy's cuz he didn't wanna follow the rules here. And that's ok cuz me and my old lady pay the fuckin mortgage not some 15 year old with a raging boner. So asta la vista baby. Its tougher than anything I have ever done in my life man. But most will eventually get it.

Consistency, same page (they love to use one against the other)and you have to also see from his little perspective. He was the "man" of the house before you were in the picture so he feels like he is losing his mother to you. You have to let him know that that will never happen. I had that problem with our oldest bc for a couple of years before I came along he was the only male in the household all the time, she had split custody with the other 2. And he was threatened by that, and acted out to try to run me off (he admitted last year in a Father's Day card). But I stayed consistent and persevered thru it and I know you can too.

NEVER say anything about how his dad is. Point out the bad behavior his dad exhibits and ask him to elaborate on it. but it should never come from you as criticizing his dad

 

[rockmfhudd]

that is all he is interested in is video games! he will play from morning to bedtime, if he can.Its disturbing. He is an amazing artist for his age, his drawings are so good.But is like making him do homework to draw also.He has no interest in sports or girls yet.He hates school. All he wants to do is eat and play video games lol

u gotta limit the time on the games, take him to a tattoo shop and let him look at the drawings there. or a gallery or something that he would think is cool and he will remember that you took him there and show him how much you appreciate his talents and where it could take him in the future.

 

[rockmfhudd]

and then again maybe if you let him go to juvi 1 time for skipping or community service where he has to pick up trash on the side of the road with his friends passing by it would be embarrassing enuff to get his rear in gear kinda scared straight. jail visit would be cool if your area has that where he could talk to inmates that were doing the same shit he is doing

 

[karambit]

We home school and that took control right off the bat.
Also I am prior service, Army, so I work on the drill Sgt school of earning every privilege.
You have to be hands on.
Take away phone, tv, games, and such.
Grades come up then they earn their shit.
Plus PT every morning with me so that the discipline of getting up is learned.
If you bust in the room every morning at O dark thirty and make them get up and PT, they will prefer to just get up for school and act right.
It works but you and the lady have to be in agreement about 8 weeks of hard core PT in the early morning.