44, I feel ya. Back in the day, I was a true american bad ass. Force recon, all sorts of shit. I learned the last time I put 5 guys in the hospital because they wanted was to take my beer, I had to change. Spending that evening in the police jail waiting for one of them to regain consciousness enough to confirm my story was awakening.
After that, I havent touched a drink since, 35 years now not a drink. No weed, nothing. I dont even take caffeine. (But thats cuz of my sleep problems).
Even today though, theres still that side of me waiting. It would kill someone, and then sit back and order pizza waiting for the cops to arrive. I know that part of me is always there.
When I was stationed in Japan after Spec Ops, the Buddhist monks there took me in. If it wasnt for those guys, I'd probably be dead by now. They taught me meditation, attitude, peace and control. I owe those guys my life. I was in a really bad place.
Ultimately, you sound like you've got your shit together, know what your shit is, and have taken measures to control it. Writing that all here proves so.
So peace to you my jarhead brother, just apply what you already know to do.
After that, I havent touched a drink since, 35 years now not a drink. No weed, nothing. I dont even take caffeine. (But thats cuz of my sleep problems).
Even today though, theres still that side of me waiting. It would kill someone, and then sit back and order pizza waiting for the cops to arrive. I know that part of me is always there.
When I was stationed in Japan after Spec Ops, the Buddhist monks there took me in. If it wasnt for those guys, I'd probably be dead by now. They taught me meditation, attitude, peace and control. I owe those guys my life. I was in a really bad place.
Ultimately, you sound like you've got your shit together, know what your shit is, and have taken measures to control it. Writing that all here proves so.
So peace to you my jarhead brother, just apply what you already know to do.
