99 problems and a bitch is one (advice and opinions are welcomed)

[AsapSlim]

So, ive been married to the same woman for about 6 years now though we have been together 7. We have two kids together, house, dog, the whole shooting match right. We live in texas but she is originally from washington state (all here family is there). Anyways, just recently she decided to go up and visit her family with the kids while i stayed behind (i work alot). Well the other day, i called her and she didnt answer (no big deal) about a hr passed and i was worried so i called her back and she finally answered and immediately put the kids on the phone (weird) so im talking to the kids (3yrs old and 4 yrs old) and i hear a guys voice in the background. So i ask my son, is mommy there with a man? he replies "yes" then i ask him to put my daughter on the phone and i ask her the same question and she says yes. OK! Now im pissed!! So i talk to her and she denies it over and over...then finally she says...ok there is just some guy up here i know and he just happened to be at the park (by her moms house) Ok i kind of let it slide. Well, the next day i wanted to know more so i start asking questions and come to find out not only was she at the park with some guy but my kids played with his kids...he played with my kids...and what makes it worse is this guy is somebody she has slept with in the past! She claims she just happened to run into him at the park and it wasnt planned WTF! So i continue to ask more questions like "so is it a coincedence that he was at that park, on that day and at that time??? Bullshit!!! So by this time im super pissed and she's being all sassy with me! I admit i was kind of agitating the situation with the things i was saying so i asked her if she was sleeping with him...she said no...then i start asking her fucked up questions like "so whos dick is bigger" and she says "yours" OK! Now im just having fun with it because i caught her doing something and im pissed so i ask "who'd you have better sex with" she says "him"!! WTF!!! But she claims that when we have sex its all about me...bitch bullshit...i make sure you cum a few times before i do...Anyways, Mind you this is my wife not my girlfriend and we have been through hell and high water ok!!! SO now im SUPERPISSED and my questions keep coming (i probably should have left it alone) So then i ask who is this guy? She wont tell me!!! IM even madder!!! All the while she claims she has no feelings for the guy and they are just friends, But i keep asking and asking so i ask "are you attracted to this guy" and she says "i guess so" "im sorry hes a good looking guy"!!! Again this is my wife of 6 years talking!!! After that i cursed her ass all the way out like bad bad bad bad...bad via text and over the phone! Im a grown man and i shall handle my business but i needed to vent and could maybe use some advice because i dont know everything. What should i do? Divorce? Maybe im blowing this out of proportion? Leave it alone and trust that she isnt hooking up with this guy who lives right up the street and she's attacted to???

 

[mycrosstobare]

So, ive been married to the same woman for about 6 years now though we have been together 7. We have two kids together, house, dog, the whole shooting match right. We live in texas but she is originally from washington state (all here family is there). Anyways, just recently she decided to go up and visit her family with the kids while i stayed behind (i work alot). Well the other day, i called her and she didnt answer (no big deal) about a hr passed and i was worried so i called her back and she finally answered and immediately put the kids on the phone (weird) so im talking to the kids (3yrs old and 4 yrs old) and i hear a guys voice in the background. So i ask my son, is mommy there with a man? he replies "yes" then i ask him to put my daughter on the phone and i ask her the same question and she says yes. OK! Now im pissed!! So i talk to her and she denies it over and over...then finally she says...ok there is just some guy up here i know and he just happened to be at the park (by her moms house) Ok i kind of let it slide. Well, the next day i wanted to know more so i start asking questions and come to find out not only was she at the park with some guy but my kids played with his kids...he played with my kids...and what makes it worse is this guy is somebody she has slept with in the past! She claims she just happened to run into him at the park and it wasnt planned WTF! So i continue to ask more questions like "so is it a coincedence that he was at that park, on that day and at that time??? Bullshit!!! So by this time im super pissed and she's being all sassy with me! I admit i was kind of agitating the situation with the things i was saying so i asked her if she was sleeping with him...she said no...then i start asking her fucked up questions like "so whos dick is bigger" and she says "yours" OK! Now im just having fun with it because i caught doing something and im pissed so i ask "who'd you have better sex with" she says "him"!! WTF!!! Mind you this is my wife not my girlfriend and we have been through hell and high water ok!!! SO now im SUPERPISSED and my questions keep coming (i probably should have left it alone) So then i ask who is this guy? She wont tell me!!! IM even madder!!! All the while she claims she has no feelings for the guy and they are just friends, But i keep asking and asking so i ask "are you attracted to this guy" and she says "i guess so" "im sorry hes a good looking guy"!!! Again this is my wife of 6 years talking!!! After that i cursed her ass all the way out like bad bad bad bad...bad via text and over the phone! Im a grown man and i shall handle my business but i needed to vent and could maybe use some advice because i dont know everything. What should i do? Divorce? Maybe im blowing this out of proportion? Leave it alone and trust that she isnt hooking up with this guy who lives right up the street and she's attacted to???

Hard to say bro. You talk to her parents about it? I know that sounds random as fuck but they might know what's going on, and most of the time parents won't agree with thier child, regardless of how old, doing fucked up shit to their spouse unless the spouse was abusive or something.

I'd take a step back and not talk to her while angry, that's just from experience. You say shit and don't think clearly and next thing you know you using every name in the book when that is your wife, and mother to your children. Which I'm guilty of doing.

Other than that bro try not to put your kids in the middle. I know that's hard but it does you no good in the long run. I've been 10 years, been through multiple deployments and through hell with the woman, and we have 2 kids as well so I understand where you're coming from.

Sent from my SM-N910P using Tapatalk

 

[AsapSlim]

I cant talk to her parents or any of her family, she is the type of female that tells everybody our business and always her side of the story. I mean every little arguement she tells her mom and sister, if i leave the toilet seat up they know about it. The only thing that really pisses me off is the disrespect she is showing. And she shows no remorse, she feels she did nothing wrong and she is unapologetic. And she is very sneaky, she is the most deceitful person i have ever met. There is little trust in our marriage anyways so for her to go and do all this is making our not-so-perfect marriage not-so-bearable

 

[stretch512]

As the Stretch mister is getting older I'm coming to the conclusion that I don't need another person to make me happy. Sure the wife and kids are great but when it comes down to my own personal happiness it's up to me to create that. A long and deep introspection will reveal what you like, what you don't like and what makes you happy. Focus on what makes you happy, fuck everything else, don't sweat the small stuff, don't sweat the big stuff. When other people (women) see that you are happy and you don't give a fuck about their opinion of your happiness they will often find you even more attractive cause now you are looking confident in your own self. Focus on you, take care of your responsibilities, but focus on what makes you happy and run towards it. Never make an excuse for it as we are not called to judge others in what makes them happy so you should also not be concerned with what other people's (even your own wife) judgments are toward you. Communication is key but also stepping away, focus on your own happiness, feel confident, don't give a fuck about anything cause we could all drop dead today.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[mycrosstobare]

I cant talk to her parents or any of her family, she is the type of female that tells everybody our business and always her side of the story. I mean every little arguement she tells her mom and sister, if i leave the toilet seat up they know about it. The only thing that really pisses me off is the disrespect she is showing. And she shows no remorse, she feels she did nothing wrong and she is unapologetic. And she is very sneaky, she is the most deceitful person i have ever met. There is little trust in our marriage anyways so for her to go and do all this is making our not-so-perfect marriage not-so-bearable

Well if there is no trust there is no point. You're just gonna go through hell for no reason, and like stretch said you don't need someone else to make you happy.

Sent from my SM-N910P using Tapatalk

 

[AsapSlim]

As the Stretch mister is getting older I'm coming to the conclusion that I don't need another person to make me happy. Sure the wife and kids are great but when it comes down to my own personal happiness it's up to me to create that. A long and deep introspection will reveal what you like, what you don't like and what makes you happy. Focus on what makes you happy, fuck everything else, don't sweat the small stuff, don't sweat the big stuff. When other people (women) see that you are happy and you don't give a fuck about their opinion of your happiness they will often find you even more attractive cause now you are looking confident in your own self. Focus on you, take care of your responsibilities, but focus on what makes you happy and run towards it. Never make an excuse for it as we are not called to judge others in what makes them happy so you should also not be concerned with what other people's (even your own wife) judgments are toward you. Communication is key but also stepping away, focus on your own happiness, feel confident, don't give a fuck about anything cause we could all drop dead today.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Maan! Truer words have never been spoken, i really appreciate that

 

[AsapSlim]

Well if there is no trust there is no point. You're just gonna go through hell for no reason, and like stretch said you don't need someone else to make you happy.

Sent from my SM-N910P using Tapatalk

Your right, trust is key! i will admit, we both have made mistakes and both gradually building up the trust but then here comes the mack truck almost everytime. But i get what yall are saying, i control my happiness not her...shits tough though because of the kids

 

[mycrosstobare]

Your right, trust is key! i will admit, we both have made mistakes and both gradually building up the trust but then here comes the mack truck almost everytime. But i get what yall are saying, i control my happiness not her...shits tough though because of the kids

I was there once too bro. But your happiness will be reflected onto your kids. The older they get the more they'll understand. You'll see.

Sent from my SM-N910P using Tapatalk

 

[44YOGearHead]

Bottom line she's outta line. We will on occasion run across people we've slept with in the past, shit happens, but how we handle it determines the outcome.
1. When you called whatever they were chatting about should've stopped and you should've been priority #1. 'Excuse me, MY HUSBAND is calling me' is a no brainer.
2. Him playing with your kids is a tad overboard.
3. You pushed and egged her on so when she said his sex was better... had it coming bro. Still very disrespectful.
6. She should have immediately let you know when she was on the phone with you that he was there and that there was an issue in the past, but said there is no concern about anything now. This would've clarified to both you and his attentive ears that you are the HUSBAND and that he is just a dude she used to know and nothing more.

Your wife is either naive and young, reminiscing over when they were together, or just plain stupid (no offense bro). I'm 45, my wife is 47, but I've always established a clear and definitive line in our relationship and dealings with people and ourselves. I'm not perfect and have slipped up from time to time, but my wife knows the boundaries of what I consider disrespectful. I don't blame the guy, the woman is always accountable in matters such as these because they have the power to shut down advances if any happened and define the boundaries. Her immediately passing the kids the phone without talking to you sent a clear message: you weren't the most important thing happening at the time. You might have a good woman, you might've pushed her into his bed again by blowing up, I don't know and lets just pray she values your marriage, you and what you've built together. Here are the options:
1. Calm down, forgive but don't forget, then observe her actions and most importantly her phone.
2. Explain calmly how she played your ass by passing the phone and see what she says. If she defends her actions... you're not her priority and you deserve better.
3. Hire an attorney secretly, claim she abandoned you and the kids. They'll run an add in some unimportant paper nobody reads and 30 days and roughly $2k later you're divorced and have custody.
4. Fly up there and calmly let her know in front of her mother that you'd like to meet this guy she had a day in the park with. I'm sure the look on her mothers face and the following mother/daughter conversation will embarrass her ass, but she will be mad AF at you.
5. Drop the bitch. The only permanent women in our lives are our mothers if they are worth a shit and our daughters.

Life is too short to be miserable and as men we can't let situations, or women dictate our lives. Use your head, go to the bank and get your money and safe deposit box that shit. The check is good for a year so if it's a sizeable amount the bank doesn't spaz out about large sum withdraws and you avoid the multiple $10k notifications to the government that make you look suspicious. Your wife behaved very disrespectfully, Mrs. 44 would never do some shit like that bro. She knows I'm not to be fucked with, but again I wuldn't have blown up like you did. Sometimes a smile is deadlier than it seems. Best of luck and no disrespect intended bro.

 

[44YOGearHead]

I cant talk to her parents or any of her family, she is the type of female that tells everybody our business and always her side of the story. I mean every little arguement she tells her mom and sister, if i leave the toilet seat up they know about it. The only thing that really pisses me off is the disrespect she is showing. And she shows no remorse, she feels she did nothing wrong and she is unapologetic. And she is very sneaky, she is the most deceitful person i have ever met. There is little trust in our marriage anyways so for her to go and do all this is making our not-so-perfect marriage not-so-bearable

Drop her ass the way I recommended, you'll thank me later.

 

[mycrosstobare]

Bottom line she's outta line. We will on occasion run across people we've slept with in the past, shit happens, but how we handle it determines the outcome.
1. When you called whatever they were chatting about should've stopped and you should've been priority #1. 'Excuse me, MY HUSBAND is calling me' is a no brainer.
2. Him playing with your kids is a tad overboard.
3. You pushed and egged her on so when she said his sex was better... had it coming bro. Still very disrespectful.
6. She should have immediately let you know when she was on the phone with you that he was there and that there was an issue in the past, but said there is no concern about anything now. This would've clarified to both you and his attentive ears that you are the HUSBAND and that he is just a dude she used to know and nothing more.

Your wife is either naive and young, reminiscing over when they were together, or just plain stupid (no offense bro). I'm 45, my wife is 47, but I've always established a clear and definitive line in our relationship and dealings with people and ourselves. I'm not perfect and have slipped up from time to time, but my wife knows the boundaries of what I consider disrespectful. I don't blame the guy, the woman is always accountable in matters such as these because they have the power to shut down advances if any happened and define the boundaries. Her immediately passing the kids the phone without talking to you sent a clear message: you weren't the most important thing happening at the time. You might have a good woman, you might've pushed her into his bed again by blowing up, I don't know and lets just pray she values your marriage, you and what you've built together. Here are the options:
1. Calm down, forgive but don't forget, then observe her actions and most importantly her phone.
2. Explain calmly how she played your ass by passing the phone and see what she says. If she defends her actions... you're not her priority and you deserve better.
3. Hire an attorney secretly, claim she abandoned you and the kids. They'll run an add in some unimportant paper nobody reads and 30 days and roughly $2k later you're divorced and have custody.
4. Fly up there and calmly let her know in front of her mother that you'd like to meet this guy she had a day in the park with. I'm sure the look on her mothers face and the following mother/daughter conversation will embarrass her ass, but she will be mad AF at you.
5. Drop the bitch. The only permanent women in our lives are our mothers if they are worth a shit and our daughters.

Life is too short to be miserable and as men we can't let situations, or women dictate our lives. Use your head, go to the bank and get your money and safe deposit box that shit. The check is good for a year so if it's a sizeable amount the bank doesn't spaz out about large sum withdraws and you avoid the multiple $10k notifications to the government that make you look suspicious. Your wife behaved very disrespectfully, Mrs. 44 would never do some shit like that bro. She knows I'm not to be fucked with, but again I wuldn't have blown up like you did. Sometimes a smile is deadlier than it seems. Best of luck and no disrespect intended bro.

What he said.

Sent from my SM-N910P using Tapatalk

 

[AsapSlim]

Bottom line she's outta line. We will on occasion run across people we've slept with in the past, shit happens, but how we handle it determines the outcome.
1. When you called whatever they were chatting about should've stopped and you should've been priority #1. 'Excuse me, MY HUSBAND is calling me' is a no brainer.
2. Him playing with your kids is a tad overboard.
3. You pushed and egged her on so when she said his sex was better... had it coming bro. Still very disrespectful.
6. She should have immediately let you know when she was on the phone with you that he was there and that there was an issue in the past, but said there is no concern about anything now. This would've clarified to both you and his attentive ears that you are the HUSBAND and that he is just a dude she used to know and nothing more.

Your wife is either naive and young, reminiscing over when they were together, or just plain stupid (no offense bro). I'm 45, my wife is 47, but I've always established a clear and definitive line in our relationship and dealings with people and ourselves. I'm not perfect and have slipped up from time to time, but my wife knows the boundaries of what I consider disrespectful. I don't blame the guy, the woman is always accountable in matters such as these because they have the power to shut down advances if any happened and define the boundaries. Her immediately passing the kids the phone without talking to you sent a clear message: you weren't the most important thing happening at the time. You might have a good woman, you might've pushed her into his bed again by blowing up, I don't know and lets just pray she values your marriage, you and what you've built together. Here are the options:
1. Calm down, forgive but don't forget, then observe her actions and most importantly her phone.
2. Explain calmly how she played your ass by passing the phone and see what she says. If she defends her actions... you're not her priority and you deserve better.
3. Hire an attorney secretly, claim she abandoned you and the kids. They'll run an add in some unimportant paper nobody reads and 30 days and roughly $2k later you're divorced and have custody.
4. Fly up there and calmly let her know in front of her mother that you'd like to meet this guy she had a day in the park with. I'm sure the look on her mothers face and the following mother/daughter conversation will embarrass her ass, but she will be mad AF at you.
5. Drop the bitch. The only permanent women in our lives are our mothers if they are worth a shit and our daughters.

Life is too short to be miserable and as men we can't let situations, or women dictate our lives. Use your head, go to the bank and get your money and safe deposit box that shit. The check is good for a year so if it's a sizeable amount the bank doesn't spaz out about large sum withdraws and you avoid the multiple $10k notifications to the government that make you look suspicious. Your wife behaved very disrespectfully, Mrs. 44 would never do some shit like that bro. She knows I'm not to be fucked with, but again I wuldn't have blown up like you did. Sometimes a smile is deadlier than it seems. Best of luck and no disrespect intended bro.

My wife is naive and young, she is 26 and will be 27 in november. I egged the situation on for a couple days so maybe your right i had that coming. Im not going to waste my money flying up there though lol im mad but not that mad! Im leaning towards #1 thinking about #3 and tetter tottering between #5. But your right, i might have just pushed her into his arms. She said at one point that "she can be her self with him" OK..um...Then i kept telling her that all he wants to do is fuck her again and she says "he probably does" Like the disrespect here is catostrophic! But like stretch said im going to regain my confidence and be responsible for my own happiness

 

[stretch512]

Brother go out into the world today - you sound like a man who is going to take care of his responsibilities - that's great. But... Go out in the world today and look at things through a different lens: am I happy, what makes me happy, if this makes me happy how do I get more of it.
When it comes to relationships I also feel it's important to have arguments. Disagreements will happen and with enough frequency a disagreement can turn into an honest concern. If there are no tears then it's not an argument. Sometimes arguments are necessary to have to find out what needs to fixed or worked on but I would wait do that face to face not over the phone. For the time being from this point forward focus on your happiness - after all if you're not happy and content then how will you take care of your kids? Don't seek outside approval seek inner content and love you first bro. The very last thing you need is to let her get in your mind or your soul so focus intentionally in creating your own happiness and once you're there cherish it and find out what you can do to ensure you get more of this in your life. Also I'm a deeply caring person but now I see once you truly come to place where you say: I don't give a fuck! And you truly mean it people notice that your focus has shifted from seeking their approvals to being comfortable with who you are. This makes you look really attractive to women and maybe this is thing you need to peak the interest of your wife. I will agree that her motives and actions are misguided and childish at Best, but agin look inside, are you healthy? Are you making bread, are you happy doing what you love? If not change those things and if they don't add to your list say Fuck That and move forward. Don't call her let her call you and when she does call you might be to interested in something that is adding joy to your life to talk at the moment - often making some power moves (maybe not as drastic as 44's advice) women immediately take notice and want your attention.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[Astie]

If you know the guys name just get a hold of him somehow...social media or by phone. If he's any what of a man he'd be honest. That's what I'd do...find out for sure then proceed with what you feel is right. If she's fucking around on ya she will do it again. That I'm a true believer in.

 

[AsapSlim]

If you know the guys name just get a hold of him somehow...social media or by phone. If he's any what of a man he'd be honest. That's what I'd do...find out for sure then proceed with what you feel is right. If she's fucking around on ya she will do it again. That I'm a true believer in.

She claims she's not messing around on me and i want to believe her, she hasnt in the past that i know of but like i said she is a piece of work when it comes to deceit! I dont know the guys name so i cant contact him and she is will not tell me. She says her and the guy have been known eachother since they were like preteens...ok cool but still. I just bought madden yesterday so im enjoying that and im going to the gym later and have a big party to attend saturday so for now im content i suppose.

 

[AsapSlim]

Brother go out into the world today - you sound like a man who is going to take care of his responsibilities - that's great. But... Go out in the world today and look at things through a different lens: am I happy, what makes me happy, if this makes me happy how do I get more of it.
When it comes to relationships I also feel it's important to have arguments. Disagreements will happen and with enough frequency a disagreement can turn into an honest concern. If there are no tears then it's not an argument. Sometimes arguments are necessary to have to find out what needs to fixed or worked on but I would wait do that face to face not over the phone. For the time being from this point forward focus on your happiness - after all if you're not happy and content then how will you take care of your kids? Don't seek outside approval seek inner content and love you first bro. The very last thing you need is to let her get in your mind or your soul so focus intentionally in creating your own happiness and once you're there cherish it and find out what you can do to ensure you get more of this in your life. Also I'm a deeply caring person but now I see once you truly come to place where you say: I don't give a fuck! And you truly mean it people notice that your focus has shifted from seeking their approvals to being comfortable with who you are. This makes you look really attractive to women and maybe this is thing you need to peak the interest of your wife. I will agree that her motives and actions are misguided and childish at Best, but agin look inside, are you healthy? Are you making bread, are you happy doing what you love? If not change those things and if they don't add to your list say Fuck That and move forward. Don't call her let her call you and when she does call you might be to interested in something that is adding joy your life to talk at the moment - often making some power moves (maybe not as drastic as 44's advice) women immediately take notice and want your attention.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Stretch, i cant thank you enough for granting the clarity and enlightenment you have provided through your words of wisdom. Im going to kick ass in the gym (makes me happy) im going out with some friends saturday (happy) and i have my good health (happy) so i shall follow your advice.

 

[rockmfhudd]

it aint about him why contact him she should respect you enuff to do the right thing. fuck an attorney I would call a private investigator and get some pics and vid of them together and how often if she is willing to lie about that you gotta take the rearview mirror off and move forward. she lied already saying no one was there and I bet it was planned you don't just run into an old flame at the park and shit. that is way too comfortable I would bet that they have been in contact waaaay before this and it was planned to meet up before she got there

 

[Miguel]

sorry to heard this man,hope everything ends well.

 

[rockmfhudd]

if it was just a happenstance there would be no reason to lie about it. that bitch is suspect and sketch as fuck if you ask me. and it pisses me off no matter who it is cuz ive been down that fucking road

 

[bigstinky]

One way to find out, do any of the sources have sodium thiopental?