I've been married 19 years and with mine for 20 and what I know is this you cannot be in pain, or hide in the supposed comfort of settling for what you have known to be when it is no longer that. Life is hard, life was never meant to be pleasant, or easy... you were born in a pool of blood and feces ejected from the womb because you were ready to join the fight that is life. It started in struggle and there are no guarantees it will end pleasantly, but what is constant is your effort and desire to be happy. Don't be afraid to be happy. HE gives you what you can handle, handle this with your chin up, because better days are coming. You're not afraid of losing her per say, you keyed in on being 55 years old and that might be what makes you really uncomfortable about this. When you were bickering you thought about this day, now that it's here you're just thinking with your heart... use your head. We're men...we will be alright, we have no other option because that's the card we were dealt. Move forward and be thankful for what you had, but look forward to the new. Happiness requires shedding a few pounds, people and places sometimes.
